not everything is always just as it seems

had a WONDERFUL day off yesterday :)

I spent the morning cleaning up my room a bit and hanging out. then i went to the beach in the afternoon which was wonderful.

I was laying out and enjoying not being bothered by a soul until around 4... and this big black guy came and laid his towel down next to me and then went into the ocean.. and all i could think was jesus christ... please just leave me alone... i had my headphones on... i clearly didn't want to be bothered.

but of course. when he came back he was just laying on his towel...and then i went to get up around 430 and as soon as i took my headphones off he starts talking to me, asking me all these questions about what i like to do. and just generally being annoying. and i knew it was coming... i knew he was going to try to be a creeper and ask me out or something. i could just tell.
so he's telling me about how he likes to do all the same stuff as i do and all this bullshit... and then he asks me if i'm single. which. btw. i should know by now that i should always just say no. i should ALWAYS just say i have a boyfriend. but anyway. he said something like, "yeah i'm single too. i wish i just had a nice girl to hang out with"
uggg
so i'm like walking away and he starts walking with me. ugggggg. and he keeps talking...and every once in awhile i'm just like, uh huh... yep.... uh huh.... not being very friendly.
and he goes, "ya know... not to be creepy or anything, but i was just wondering if you'd be interested in letting me take you to a restaurant sometime or something"
and i was like... uhh no thanks... i'm really not here for very long. i'm just visiting..

and he then proceeded to tell me about how he makes $80000 a year... and so i immediately was like, "oh yeah?? what do you do??" and he was like, "uhhhh.... ya know... criminal justice stuff"

i did my best to restrain myself from laughing... there's no way...i think he meant to say criminal stuff... hahah.
anyway. so i continued to walk... and he continued to walk with me... which i just assumed he was going to his car... and he was like, ya know if you do want to hang out i just need to grab my phone from my car so we have to go over there... and i was like... uhh no thanks.. i'm gotta go.
and he continued to try and he was like, well ya know i like church events and things too if that's what you're into.

i wanted to just be like, GIVE IT UP!!!! i said no!! leave me alone!!!

i don't understand people that can't take a hint ya know?

anyway. other than that minor thing my day was quite pleasant :)

today is also a pretty relaxing day. did two of the ponies this morning at 7:30... and going back over around 1 to do the other two, pick out stalls, make dinner, and then come back home :)

i have pretty simple days which is nice.

anywhoo.

i just figured i'd update a little bit

later all

nothing else compares

so i finally did it.
i made the leap of FINALLY getting out of vermont!
as much as i love many things about the little state, i really needed to get out of there and really experience life away from all things familiar.

So, i got a job working for Diane Rodich of Top Class Dressage as her groom.

Jack and Mouse outside :) sooo cute

I went from working for Madeleine Austin at Imajica, taking care of 30 or so horses a day, to taking care of 3 horses... 4 starting tomorrow.
regardless of how much easier it is... it's nice to be working for someone who is appreciative of the job i'm doing, and showing it. I get paid on time, if i need an afternoon off or some time to do things i want to do i can, and i get told how good of a job i'm doing and how much i'm appreciated.
having that really makes a difference in how hard i want to work.

this is my driveway leading to my house

i'm also living with the most amazing people. The owner of the house, Annette, also has her own farm, and life of her own, but chooses to take people in all the time! she's really wonderful, and just the kind of horse person that i would want to be living with. there are so many people in the horse world that take others for granted, its just nice to know that i'm working for and living with people that clearly don't think of me as just some slave. I'm also living with a girl named Kendra. She's suuper nice and has tried to help me find good places to go out and such. which is awesome. i think she's probably my age, or maybe a bit younger... but she's pretty great.

anyway. it's been a nice change. thats for sure.

ALSO!! i get to start riding at some point!! and possibly jumping some too which would be excellent, because i haven't jumped in a long time, so it will be nice to get back into that. BUT it will also mean that i'll get to learn more about dressage rather than just picking things up from watching. don't get me wrong, i've already learned a lot about it just by working at Madeleine's farm, but i feel like it will definitely help me to learn things by riding as well.This is Poppy, possibly the horse i might start riding

Liz has also said that i might get to go over and trail ride one of the horses at Stacey's (where she's keeping Tweak, Hero, Coltrane, and Copland). so that will be fun!

all in all, this move was for the best i think. even if it does have to come to and end at some point... which... it might, it might not. we'll see.

on a more personal note... liz, emilee and i have checked out the club scene now, which... i'm quite fond of. haha
there's much more perving to be done down here, which i'm not super ashamed to say i have been partaking in. ha :)

i met a guy the other night, Angelo, who's italian... and he was very sweet and nice. granted he did continuously tell me how much he wanted to take me home, he didn't really push it. and he didn't try to get me hammered... as a matter of fact when i told him i might have to drive my friends and i home he offered to get me water and basically told me to make sure we were safe.
we exchanged #s and he wanted me to go out the night after too, but i didn't make it out. i was too tired... the clubs here don't close until 4 or 5am, and i start working at like 6:30 or 7 everyday... sooo uhhh sleeping doesn't happen when i go out the night before. ha. but anyway... we'll see. if he doesn't get in touch with me again i'll know it wasn't meant to be and be fine with it, but if we get together again i wouldn't complain :)

it would be nice to meet a nice boy down here though.

anyway. i need to clean my room a bit, and then i need to go back over and feed the ponies :)

i'll keep posting things every once in awhile.

sittin on the porch

so it's bright (literally) and early on a Friday morning. It's the last day of April. which means rent is due tomorrow. I still haven't found someone to take over my rent for June. which is not ok with me. I emailed emily's softball friend to no avail yet. I'm really hoping that she gets back to me though. I need someone to take over that god damn apartment.

anyway. besides the apartment situation much has happened recently. my crush on previously stated boy is done. he got arrested for some bullshit he did while he was drunk. Its too bad that he's kind of an idiot when it comes to that shit because he's pretty sexy and suuuper nice otherwise. It could've been a really good thing. Oh well.

Then I sort of developed a small crush on a close friend who had recently broken up with his girlfriend and had been paying me all sorts of compliments and who, I thought, was really starting to show some sort of interest in me. I'm not really sure what his deal is right now but I realized that I'm not actually interested in him. I just enjoyed the fact that he idealized me. Not necessarily a bad thing... it just seemed all too easy for me. I tend to not go for things that would fall into my lap.

Also, a past fling kind of got in touch with me. Randomly showed up at my friend house while I was there and creeped the shit out of me. I mean, he wasn't acting weird or anything but I just didn't want him to think that there was ever going to be anything between us again. What I had with him was purely physical and there was no romance there. Ever. He tried to take me on a date and really messed it up and unfortunately for him I won't forget it. Talk about worst date ever. If there were to be anything with him ever again it would, yet again, be purely physical. Thing is, I don't think he gets that. He always wants it to be something a little bit more than that and that's not what I'm looking for with him.

So I think yet again I'm crush-less. It's kind of a bummer, but honestly... I'm leaving Johnson soon and I'm really hoping to find someone who has similar interests as me, or at least cares about me enough to act as if he cares about my interests. ya know? No one in Johnson is really mature enough to do that.

Anyway.... on top of all the boy bullshit I recently got a phone call from my aunt saying that she's expecting a little baby boy!!! :) that will be the first boy cousin on my dad's side at all!!! it's suuuper exciting. and to top it off she asked me if I want to go nanny for her!! which is even more exciting!!! mostly because that means that I could get the hell out of Vermont and head down there for the warm weather!!!!! None of this winter bullshit.

It's just so weird because right before she called Ashley and I were doing tarot readings and mine said a lot about how my sex life will be great and how I'll make a good mother-figure or there will be a mother-figure in my life or something, and I was like getting worried...but then my aunt called and it all made sense.

Do you know how tan I'd get if I lived down there?!?!?! It's nice just to imagine it.

i'm done for now. i'm gonna nap for a bit i think.

just a city boy

i haven't written in this in so long. it's so weird that sometimes i really get an urge to write things down and then i just don't.

anyway. i just got done watching the first season of Glee. i'm in love.
it makes me completely miss singing and it makes me miss performing. and it makes me miss lame ass high school bullshit. it made me remember why i wanted to be a high school music teacher. because i would totally do that stuff with my chorus. i would totally do all the newer music and blow people's minds.

i would love to do that.

it also got me thinking about how i want to get involved in community plays and all that stuff. i really need to look into it more because i think that it would make me a much happier person to be performing again.

there was a time when i felt like that was all i wanted to do was be a performing artist. my dream was to be in big time musicals. and honestly i would LOVE it.

i think the reason why i love it so much is because i love the competitiveness about it. same with equestrian stuff, which is why i want to get involved in that a lot right now. because that i could actually delve into. i'm not really sure if i enjoy the sound of my own voice enough to be able to do the singing thing as a career. but i enjoy horses, and i enjoy everything about them enough to make that into a career.

my dad was always pushing me to do something that would make me lots of money, but i don't think that's what i need to do. i honestly think that what i need to do is to do something that will consistently make me happy. i don't want to do something where i'm stuck sitting at a desk all day long. i also don't want to be doing the same things at said desk all day long. i think it would be one thing to have an aspect of my job be figuring out finances and stuff like that for the business essentials, along with scheduling and things like that. but i also need something that's either a teaching aspect and/or a hands on type thing.

anyway. i think my biggest thing is that i need to get out of vermont and experience things with people that i don't know. i need to make some new acquaintances and i need to start a life that is all my own.

ashley and i were just talking a little bit about how she like variety in people. well i enjoy hanging out with a group of friends. i like having one main group of friends and then having other groups as well but they are not my main people. ya know?
and like i was telling her, i really enjoy having the connections with the people that i have made connections with in johnson, but i'm ready to head out of this town. i really enjoy the atmosphere here, but i'm sick of the drama that comes along with living in this small college town.

i'm pretty pumped to get out of johnson and to live in fairfax and to be able to just chill.

i think that i will always be able to contact most of the people that i have made connections with but i don't think that i will be best friends with all of them. i just haven't made the greatest connections up here. i think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that i don't agree with a lot of the drug aspect that most of the people up here are into.
i'm just not that into it. i'm not saying that people are forceful or anything, as a matter of fact most people, i think, are intrigued to find someone in johnson that doesn't just up and do any drug that they can get their hands on, nor do i know much about any drug.

i honestly don't care about that shit.

mmk. well i think i'm done on here for now

so much has happened

so 2010. i commend you. you've brought me such happiness so far that i'm almost a little bit worried about the future of 2010... like... with all this good stuff going on it makes me wonder when it's all going to come crashing down.

but for now i'm not thinking about that.

there have been some really crazy things that have happened with my friend ashley as well but i think that she's the kind of person that needs to learn by doing especially when it comes to relationships and if that means that she goes through a rough patch i'll be there for her and probably get annoyed because she talks about the situation so much but i will be there for her because i know that she'd do the same thing for me.

as for my life. i have a small crush on a boy. :)
also i'm looking for a new job. i'm super sick of working at immigration mostly because sitting at a desk all day is not my cup of tea so i've been emailing horse barns to see if anyone needs help at all.

pretty much i just want to do something where i will feel accomplished with my life and right now in the position i'm at i definitely don't feel accomplished.

it's actually hard for me to understand how anyone feels accomplished doing that job...i mean i guess you are seriously helping to better someone else's life by going over their cases but it's hard for me to even think that those people are real people because some of the situations seem so surreal. i like a much more personal atmosphere where i know the people that i'm helping. Which is why teaching was always so appealing to me but i don't really want to teach in a school though because i don't want to be limited. which is why i'm thinking that working and teaching at a barn would be most beneficial to my mental and physical health. i would get to be working outside and walking around all day long and i wouldn't even have time to think about anything negative unless it pertained to the barn because when i am at the barn i literally am so focused on barn things that its almost as though i lose touch with reality. it's very strange to think about. but it's awesome.

keep on the sunny side

hello world.

so there have been sooo many things going on lately. i've been busy busy busy... but i've managed to keep my happy face on.

i don't know why really but it just seems that i'm in a much better place with my life now.

also it probably helps that i'm actually getting along with my roommate right now. really well actually.
the thing about hanging out with emily is that it's kind of hit or miss... like... we either have a really GREAT time or we don't... anyway.

last night emily and benton came home with doug and they wanted to play beer pong... i wasn't going to drink but i said i'd play... well i ended up having a glass of wine... not that i was drunk but i was definitely silly.
we had a really good time.

and i even brought up to her about the end of the year stuff and what's going to happen. basically she doesn't know if she is going to stay through the entire lease either which III think would be ideal so that we can just get some roommates to take over our lease a littler early so that we can both get the hell out of here. hahah... i really just can't wait to move. is it strange that i like to live in different places so much?? i mean i think it's a little odd.. but i really do enjoy moving... i hate packing, and i hate unpacking even more, but i really do looooove living in different areas.

anyway...i just think that i will be much happier in fairfax this summer if i can just have my own garden and such and be around horses all summer, and be able to go hiking and such.

so i really want to watch o brother where art thou... i haven't seen that movie in sooo long. and i love it. and i want it.
if anyone in johnson owns it they should let me borrow it so that i don't have to wait for netflix...

mmk
so i think that i'm done here now. i think.

plumbers plumbers plumbers

so the plumbers are here yet again. WOOOOT! not. this, i think, is the 5th time this year since i've lived here that the plumbers have come to my house. there's something wrong with this place. it's a little bit ridiculous if you ask me.

anyway.

i haven't been to work in about a week now. mostly because i felt like taking the end of last week off and then this week i've had to deal with plumbing issues. the plumbers are always very nice though.
the one that is here now is the one that was here on Friday. he seems like he actually knows what he's doing...unlike that jake guy that came on Saturday. I don't really know what's going to happen though. i just feel like we have a leak coming from somewhere....and no one really knows where...

lucky us though!

so i don't know how but i've gotten back into the habit of biting my nails. it's very strange. i went FOREVER without biting them. i don't know why all of sudden i've started doing it again. i don't like to do it. but i find that when i'm not even paying attention i'll end up just gnawing on them.
very strange.

have you ever thought about a habit that you have?? Habits have always fascinated me a little bit. Something that you do all the time... and you may not even realize it.
The best way to learn what living habits you have is to live with a roommate. because if they don't have the same habits as you then you start to realize the little things that you do a certain way and the things that you don't like to be disrupted.
For instance.
The way I do my dishes when I don't have a dishwasher. I will let dishes be in the sink for awhile.... and then when I have time i do them, put them in the drying rack.
Then most of the time i pull dishes from the drying rack if i need to use them throughout that week. if i haven't used all the dishes in the drying rack before the dishes in the sink start to become too much then i put those dishes away.

well my habit now with dishes has changed because i do have a roommate. it seems as though i'm always the one doing the dishes... and sometimes if she feels like it emily will put the ones in the dishrack away.

but really... i think i do most of the dishes here.
along with almost constantly taking out the trash. oh. and vacuuming. and did i mention wiping down the table/counters/stove top?
the one thing that i don't do however is take out the recycling. by recycling i mean returning bottles. i don't usually do that... although i haven't really seen any of the benefits from that so i probably should take care of them more often.

So i've been trying really hard to keep up with my online classes... i just don't think that i'm good with them... i don't know how many more online courses i'll take mostly because i just don't think i'm good enough with expressing my opinions in writing. i'm MUCH better at a face to face discussion. it sucks though because i hate sitting through a class.
The only class that i think i've honestly enjoyed since high school was my ethics class. that and/or my intro to business class with Henrique...but even that was a little dull at times. the only thing that made that class good was the fact that he's a babe. and my friend chelsea and i had a great time in that class.

I really want to get into equine management i think... i think that i could go pretttty far with that.

i'm going to start looking into jobs out west that i could do where i would get paid enough to at least live off of for awhile... we'll see what i can find. i mean honestly... i would even go to a ranch and be a cowgirl if that's the only thing where i could start out making enough money to live off of.

on an unrelated note. Relay for Life is coming up suuuper fast... and i have yet to raise any money...which blows. Hard core.
I guess i'm going to have to start asking around at work because i know that people will donate there.. and i'll go into some of the businesses in st. a...

here's a list of places that i'm going to go for donations:
Edelweiss
Lenny's
Hannaford-st. albans
Welden Theater
Eastern Dragon
Kevin Smith's
maybe Grand Union in Johnson.

if anyone else can think of other places that would be awesome...
I also need to email family members...because i guarantee that they will alllll donate.

Family that i need to contact:
Aunt Annie
Uncle John
Nancy
Wanda and Ralph
Jane
Jessie
Kayla
Mom

I think that's about it maybe...

annnyywhhoooo

i don't really know what else to do right now because i kind of want to stay here until they are done so that i can get a good description of what they did. and that kind of thing.

if they don't finish until like noon though i may not go into work today...but i will go to st. a to get my books...and then i might go to the library in st. a so that i can get my work done.

i haven't been to the library there in soooo long but i think it would def. be good for me. ALTHOUGH... if cara is around campus today i might see if she wants to go to the johnson library then so we can finish the lab and stuff...

I sure hope that my goddamned books have come in. if they haven't i'm not going to be a happy camper at all.

anywhoo i'm done on here for now i guess. i'm going to go waste time on facebook.